May 6. 1918

Rookies Fall Into Arms of Depot Brigade—Musical Celebrities.

            The joys of playing at stump, the ecstasy of filling the bed-sac with sweet-scented, new – mown hay (“barbed straw,” in the vernacular), the romantic excitements of standing in line with the bran-new aluminum's for the chow, the pride in possessing callouses on the right and the left (make “hand” or “foot” to suit your case), the joy of being urged gently from sleep in the A. M. by the dulcet Sarge's whistle, the exaltation which comes with the Perfect Thirty- Six O. D.'s—and add to the catalogue ad lib. When that sentence was first given to the original blue-print, the idea—if such there be—was that the new men are tasting the delights of army life.

            Nine thousand one hundred and seven of them have passed through those taut Last Moments when the band played “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Jamaica, have been warned against the needle and have learned the difference between a second lieutenant and a first Sgt. As usual, the depot brigade stretched out its worn and weary arms to receive them, and they have haltingly lisped those syllables--”Dep-ot Brig-ade”--when writing home, with trustful boyish pride at belonging to the army. They were mustered in at the rate of 1600 a day. 200 extra clerks assisted the personnel officer, Capt.  W. E. Hoyer.

            A run seems to be among the musical clan. Two musical cities and an internationally known song writer are among the recruits. B. B. & G. G. are four initials that sum of the casualties in music criticdom by the advent of the pair of listeners who will now have a chance to compare the technique burglar with the art of Massenet and Moussorgsky. B.Bowne was on the staff of Musical America before receiving his call, and Gilbert Gabriel was the musical critic for the Evening Sun.

            Another name among the arrivals that stirs the bosom of every O. D. wearer is Irving Berlin. It hadn't been definitely ascertained whether Upton had taken Berlin, but he's among those scheduled to arrive. His compositions were legion, and many of them are on pianos as far West as Cataline Island. They have chanted his lays in Michigan and hummed them in Mississippi with equal ardor. It is rumored that Mr. Berlin is to get color while here for a soldier musical comedy hes planing to have in notes. The company that finally lands him will be fortunate, as Ralph has remarked, for it will not have to undergo even an ocean voyage to take Berlin.



            The big auditorium of the Buffalo Regiment on Third Avenue, near Upton Blvd, is steadily waxing in the popular favor of officers and men here. Every evening sees the big building well filled, and when a special feature is billed there is hardly standing room. White soldiers as well as colored patronize the popular Buffalo Playhouse in large numbers and some nights the proportion leans strongly in favor o the blond persuasion. Pictures are changed nightly, and they're all big timers. The vaudeville, averaging three acts, is professional and is new twice a week. One of the unique things about the Buffaloes' theatre is the refreshment  stand, which is liberally patronized, and the sawdust ring and a couple of elephants are all needed to complete an illusion of a circus  when pop bottles, candy, and other sundries are glimpsed in the hands of the soldiers.



            The 367th Infantry is proud of Mechanic Saxton, Company D, who gives up six hours of his free time each week to teach his brothers how to read, write, and do “rithmetic in the English classes, part of the Y.M.C.A. educational work.





            Oh, its great to live at Yaphank and be a soldier brave,

and come home every week-end and have the ladies rave;

Oh its fine to be a hero and with slashing bayonets

Charge at swinging dummies like war-wise Verdun vets;

Oh, it's swell to eat your chow and slum and sleep on perfumed straw,

And scrub a thousand feet of floor till your brawny paw grows raw;

Oh, we're just in love with “stumping” and we're mad about our job,

And when it comes to K. Police with joy we sit and sob.

But what in—do we care if we soil our lily skin,

Or ruin a perfect trouser crease or slam our swelled-head slim;

We've got a job before us across the salty seas;

So we think we'll keep on plugging like blooming buzzing bees.

With a hitching of our breeches and a swelling out of chest,

We're going to do some licking and we'll lick our level best;

And should we in the mix-up some tender feelings hurt,

Or with some college education mix a little bit of dirt--

Just write it down we're ready for a certain jamboree

And tightening out heart strings for to keep our grand land free;

And when this thing is over, and loaded full of glory,

We still have left and eye or leg or tongue to tell the story--

Why we wont forget to mention old Yaphank-by-the-sea

And what she did for all of us, including Germany;

And when we nab old Kaiser Bill of Hohenzollern fame,

Why we'll bury him in Yaphank to commemorate its name.


Suggestions Which Might Help Visitors Coming to Camp Upton

            For the benefit—if any there be—of men expecting women visitors, Trench and Camp gladly publishes a few suggestions which may aid soldiers in giving instructions of those who plan a trip into camp.

            On Sundays, the last train from camp leaves the camp terminal at 8:30, and as every woman visitor is required to leave then, it is wise to be at the station early, or leave by the one of the earlier specials. There are practically no extra accommodations for visitors, and it is running a big chance to have any one miss the last train out. On weekdays the last train leaves at 7:03.

            Visitors would do well to have the absolutely correct address of any one they wish to see. It is precarious to make surprise visits.

            If a visitor fails to connect with the solder friend at the station, it is well to hunt out the representative if the Y.W.C.A., who mets practically every train, and get directions from her. She will aid in getting conveyance from the station to the Y.W.C.A. Hostess House nearest where the soldier is located.

            These hostess houses are the “be-all and end-all” of visitors in camp. There are three—Third Avenue and Sixth Street, Fourth Avenue and 15th Street, and Second Avenue and 11th Street (colored). In all three the accommodations include a cafeteria, rest rooms, and large, comfortable rooms and piazzas fitted completely to make the visit as cozy as possible. Other places in camp are the Y.M.C.A. Huts—Second Avenue and 11th Street (colored), Second Avenue and 14th Street, 19th Street and Grand Avenue, Fifth Avenue and 11th Street, Fifth Avenue and Eighth Street, Fifth Avenue and Fourth Street, and Fifth Avenue and First Street: the Nights of Colombus Auditorium, Upton Blvd; The Nights of Colombus Club House, Fourth Avenue and Fifteenth Street; the Jewish Board for Welfare Work, 12th Street: the Officer's House (for officer's guests), on Upton Blvd, and the Acker Merrall & Condit Hotel, Twelfth Street.


Objectors Here to Get Short Shrift

Will Be Tried by Court Martial, With No Limit on Punishment.

            Conscientious objecting as a popular form of diversion for certain rookies has lost all its charm, and the C. O. clan is steadily dwindling to the place they merit—below zero. For the announcement is made that henceforth there will be no temporizing, no reasoning, no suasion of the sweet and brotherly variety used to try and bring the deluded ones into the true light. An order has been issued to commanding officers in Upton at the direction of the Secretary of War, and says all those “who attitude is sullen or defiant, those whose sincerity is questioned and those who are active in propaganda” must be brought to a prompt trial by court martial.

            The objectors will be tried under the 96th Article of War, placing no limit on the punishment which may be imposed on those on trial under this article. Conduct prejudicial to good order and military discipline will be the summed up charged against any who show objecting perniciousness. It is expected that drastic treatment will be meted out, and since there is no limit on the number of years imprisonment, the C. O.'s road here is sure to be a rough and rocky one.


Concerts and Movies Offered at Big Y. M.

            There have been some musical and other entertainment events of unusual merit of late at the Y auditorium. On Sunday afternoon, April 28, the Central Chemical Company band of Bayonne, N. J., played a fine concert with unusual soloists. Prof. W. K. Knox is their leader and has sixty pieces with which to work, all employees of the company. There were solo numbers by members of the organization. Miss Alice Moncreiff, the concert contraito, and Miss Marcella Craft, famous opera and recital star, sang several songs.

            Another interesting concert was the recital by Leon Rice, tenor, on Tuesday, April 30. Mr. Rice is a specialist in American and English ballads and knows what the boys like.



            Wednesday was Depot Brigade Night and was attended by upward of 3,500 men from that organization. Lieut. Schuyler, the popular entertainment officer, had made arrangements for the affair, and with the assistance of the Stage Women's War Relief Committee, in NYC, gave the boys a fine show. The professional people were headed by Miss Minnette Barrett, the Lasky star. They presented a fine bill of songs, dances, violin solos and a short play. It is planned to have a bill in the auditorium every other week, given by the stage Women's Committee on Entertainment.


Feature Movies.

            Among the feature motion pictures have been George Walsh in “The Mediator,” Mme. Olga Petrova in “Daughter of Destiny,” Catherine Calvert in “Behind the Mask” and others. Movie nights—Monday, Weds and Saturday—are becoming increasingly popular.

            Sunday afternoon the grand opera star, Miss Maggie Teyte, gave several short concerts, beginning in the Auditorium and going to several parts of the camp, singing in three huts.

            Wednesday, May 8, the eight-reel feature film “Alimony,” starring Lois Wilson and Josephine Whittell, will be shown, and on Thursday Mary Hissem de Moss, concert soprano, will give a recital in conjunction with one of the cantonment bands.


Score Now 15-2 Between K. C. and Jewish Welfare.

Busy Days For Knights—Porch Additions Prove Attractive.

From K. of C. Headquarters.

The Knights of Colombus Auditorium is one of the most popular places in camp for Sunday visitors, this being due in great part to the splendid veranda just completed, the gift of the New York Catholic War Council. The addition measures 20 feet by 54 feet and is already well furnished with green and white rockers. It is intended, perhaps later, to screen in the porch and place lamps and rugs and other things that will make it seem more homelike.

            Last week proved a busy one and was not altogether unpleasant, for Knights of Colombus secretaries, as they were the hosts of two large amateur dramatic societies which numbered among their casts some charming bits of femininity.

            A. P. Hogan, Associate General Secretary for the Knights of Colombus in camp, who has been frequently taken for a moving picture hero, perhaps on account of his iron-gray hair, which is naturally marcelled, did most of the entertaining. The reason for this influx in camp is due to the fact that Aquinas Council of the K. of C. presented a mixed minstrel show, which proved one of the milestones in life at camp. The men were loud in their applause and hugely enjoyed the girl “end men.”

            The cast, numbering sixty-five, came down in machines in the early morning and returned in the same night.


“A Pair of Sixes.”

            On Saturday Night, the Staten Island K. of C. sent down an amateur company, which played “A Pair of Sixes” to a packed house. The more or less untried thespians were remarkably goof and were greatly strengthened by the addition of Miss Lewis, who had recently graduated from their ranks to Broadway, where she is now playing.


Jewish Welfare Aids.

            On Saturday night it was suddenly discovered there were fifteen men in the party who could not get accommodations in Patchogue or Centre Moriches, and in a fever of anxiety General Secretary Flynn of the Knights of Colombus phoned his neighbor. Head worker Hyman of the Jewish Board for Welfare Work, and presented his case. Mr Hyman urged the K. of C. to send along all their men guests and he would take care of them. This jumped the score in favor of the J. B. W. W. 15 to 2, because on the last exchange of guests the knights of Colombus only had an opportunity to play host to two of the J. B. W. W. stay overs.

            The Staten Island Knights were loud in their praise of hospitality of the J. B. W. W. and said that Mr. Hyman's cordial reception to them proved the brightest spot in their stay at camp.

            The new Knights of Colombus Building, it is believed, will be erected on the corner of Fifth Avenue and Fourth Street, where it will be somewhat more accessible than the ill-fated on recently burned.



            Private Hopeful wonders where the people are who are benefited by Upton winds, according to the antique saw: “It's an ill wind that blows nobody good.”

            “Blown in by the draft,” was literally true of several increments recently added unto us.



Were you ever in a hurry?

Did you really wish to beat it?

Did a sudden interruption

Make you linger 'gainst your will?

Did you foam and fret and worry?

What you thought, would you repeat it?

Did you quell a great eruption

Of relentless rage to kill?

                        --Sergt. F. M.


This one had only just been issued his fighting garments. It was a wet, damp, drizzly, rainy, foggy, muggy—well, call it a Long Island Day. The T. Sarge met him going out of the barrack. He had on the leggings, shoes, breeches and tunic that Uncle S. gave him, but on the dome was—a derby.

            “Hay, where you goin' with the lid?” The Sarge's voice was rough.

            “Well,” he hesitated the rook, who had until recently received his mail at Fishkill Landing, NY., “I thought it'd be best to save my good one—on a day like this.”


Well, who was Queen of the May at Uptown, anyhow? Somebody has nominated their Mess-Sargeant, but on second thought, withdraws the nomination stating that the M. S. is only a discarded tray.


            From some source or other:

            “I'm a little Wop

            “I gotta no mom.

            “I gotta no pop.

            “But I gotta da gun.

            “And I wanta go over the top.”

Taking him all together, considerable Wop.


            And speaking of Blue Devils, as the papers have been, how about that as a name for K. P.?

                                                                                    THE OBSERVER.




Fun With the Future Judge Advocates, Adjutants and Personnel Experts—On Various Army Follies.




Glorified Selected Men

Judge Advocates, Personnel Officers, Adjutants and Generals

In the embryo.

They admit it—plus.



A few in the bunch recall classification cards on Muster Day Wherein we told all our virtuses. I asked one “$20,000 a year” man how much income tax he would pay. He gave me a $1,200 a year look, as he hiked back to the kitchen.


Then we have with us Mr. Howard Friend

Private Friend, in the Army,

A general handy man and phone manipulator.

The other day the phone rang--

A lady's voice—Then Howard's, sweetly--

“Private Friend speaking.”

“Oh, is that so?” said she smilingly.

And so the Romance began.


“Who's loony now?” chirps a Private Friend.

Some outfits have good cooks

Others good “chow”

Ours has neither.

Some European friends assigned for

“domestic service”

Made “cops” Military ones!

“show me pess,” squeaked one at Jamaica;
Scared stoff, I tendered my  A.W.O.L. Pass.

“Read him to me” he ordered.

So I laughed as I read.

After listening to that Night Owl, Bunkie “Sarah,”

I move that

the old bromide,

“Snore, and you sleep alone.”

be amended to read :

“Kick the guy in the shin, and tell him the war's over.”


However, it's different with “2d Looies.”

if some of them didn’t snore,

you'd think they were dead.


In the Army game

“Passing the buck” is a stunt and a great relief.

In the game of “Billiards” with square ivories.

“Passing the buck”

Is a great relief, but no stunt.


Any grease-ball can do it.


What gets my goat is to see

 A private, camouflaged with leather leggings and garrison cap

Disguised as a week-end officer,

Parading Fifth Avenue with a swell peach.

Not that I mind the make-up,

But how do the girls far for such stuff? 


For a good laugh with Sambo,

Go to see the Buffaloes.


“On or off.”


They are “The Greatest Show at Camp.”



Cantonment Headquarters Detachment.



            Sunday church services are held in a number every week sufficient to accommodate men of every creed in camp.

            Y.M.C.A. Building, Second Ave. and Seventh st.-- 10 A.M. Morning worship; Chaplain William T. Manning. 6:30pm Y.M.C.A. Meeting; Y.M.C.A. Secretary, George D. Hulst.

            Y.M.C.A.  Building, second ave and 11th st.--10am morning worship; Chaplain G.S. Stark 6:30pm, Y.M.C.A. Meeting, Chaplain G. S. Stark.

            Y.M.C.A. Building,  Fifth Avenue and 14th st.--10am , morning worship; Y.M.C.A. Secretary, William I. Reed. 6:30pm  Y.M.C.A., meeting; Y.M.C.A. Secretary, John J. Moment,


Champ Ben Will Return to Train Rookies After Big “Cross Country”

            All the Ben fans in camp, and there is a company which is past numbering, are hoping the railroad sailing is smooth and submarines will pass up the Pullmans carrying the world's champion lightweight fighter as he journeys across the continent. For Benny Leonard, instructor in the fistic science at Upton, is leaving these wooded hills and plains temporarily for a transcontinental tour during which he will do a large series of mitt mixing. He is to fight all corners in numerous cities. And although a lightweight world's champion should be corralling dollars by the bushel, Ben will do this fighting for bare expenses.

            The rookies who have just brought their dukes into your Uncle's service to be bared against the Boche are praying for Leonard's safe return so they may have the advantages which their predecessors enjoyed in the way of boxing tips. Benny did a fine piece of work with the Metropolitan Division by personal fistic instruction to officers and men alike, and he is able to pit the same fighting ginger and pepper into any number of draft allotments. The newest are hoping hell return in the time to get in some more of that work, and run, perhaps, a camp open air boxing tournament such as caused the famous Long Island welkin to ring a few weeks ago in the vicinity of Fourth Ave and sixth street.



For Sergeants, This Outfit Stands Practically Supreme With an Umpire-Baiter and All-Around Athlete and Heart-breaker Among Them.

            Gone are they all, the old familiar spaces in the ranks where one the rampant fighting 11th of the immortal (don't leave out the “t” please) Depot Brigade stood at attention, ready for the next scrap. Only the scars remained.

            Scar No. 1 is Sergt. Spitzer, the famous umpire baiter, who has lost all his teeth yelling at the umpire. Then there is Sergt. Cohen, unanimously voted the toughest looking non-com in the company. Spitzer and Hart were close seconds, and only one vote was cast.

            The Street Cleaning Commissioner, Schwartz, who calls himself Provost Sergeant and who boasts of the days when he was bugler on Gen. Pershing's staff on the border, says business is picking up. Everybody knows that Spitzer got his fighting experience in Cuba, and that he has suffered a long and variegated career as Movie Actor, manager of famous pugilists, etc.

            The Mess Sergt., Maeder pulls himself to sleep every night with his mandolin. When asked why he insisted upon feeding the soldiers with Frankfurters and Sauerkraut, he replied, “Lets eat up everything German in a hurry.”

            The most popular man in the company, is the Hair-Raising, Trigger-Pulling, son of a gun Bill Hart. The famous athlete can dance, sing, talk big words, and make friends as easily as swim, ride, shoot, box, lunge a bayonet, play ball and win the hearts of the fair sex.

            Many have been the changes in our company during the past few months. But the “Old Guard” remains. Long may they shave!

                                                                        SERGT. F. M.



[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] Fairy Godmother Adopts Third Depot Company

Mrs. Kline Proves Lady Bountiful - other news from depot “brigadiers” lair.

She came down to visit a friend, an acting private of the 3d company. The boys showed her a good time , as the the boys of the 3d company always do when they have visitors. She was pleased and asked Sergt. Shanley f the company had a godmother, and f not wold object to her bringing them out a few little things. “Go ahead the skies the limit!” was Shanley’s characteristic reply. The next time she came out she sat n the front seat of the car with the chaffer, and the back was pled high with cigars, cigarettes, tobacco, comfort kits &c. She has been coming out twice a week ever since that first visit and does the boys all sorts of little favors.

            The lady’s name s Mrs. Kline and, n addition to her good work for the boys at Camp upton she is a zealous worker for the Harlem Red Cross, and sells Liberty bonds between breaths.

The feature of last weeks athletic meet was the addition  of a few horse back and mule-back events. Which proved very popular. The half-mile race between two of the fastest horses n the brigade stables cased lots of excitement, as did  the horse back fight, while the egg-and- spoon race on mule-back was the funniest thing seen in years.

Things are gong big n the depot brigade. The first outdoor stunt day was staged on the brigade athletic field, at which the representatives of the various companies entertained the new men n a variety of ways with a program which would make the hippodrome look like the sideshow of a cheap circus by comparison. Let Schuyler, the cantonment entrainment officer, headed the boys together and is now planning several other big affairs of this kind.

Things were gong rather slowly last week-end when so many of the boys were away on pass, and Let Col. Dolph went out on the diamond and started hitting out flies . He started n with two players and a staff arm, but finished with about half the brigade [peace strength fifty men] chasing the pull n the outfield. Then the Lieutenant Colonel went into the box and started n to pt ‘em over the plate right dan the old groove - stimulating interest to such an extent that a real game was started right there.






            The base hospital has joined the City Beautiful movement. Most of the liesure class there when not occupied these days with spring fever and baseball are engaged in fixing up the hospital buildings and currycombing the ground and generally doing their darnedest to makethe desert blossom as the rose.

            This activity has been stimulated by the offer of $50 to be given by Lieut. Col. Jay D. Whitmen on June 1 to the ward which has the neetest appearance and altogether looks like a little bit of heaven. The the one great drawback is that there's not enough of the ould sod to go round, though there's plenty of ashes. However, if a Congressman should receive a hurry call for tons and tons of grass seed to help put the United States Army on a war footing he needn't be surprised.

            It has been decided to turn the strip of ground fronting the detachment barracks into a Garden o Eden, instead of a field where the baseball teams can do their spring training. Privates Alton B. Fay and Joe Ryan, deans of the mule driver corps, have become agriculturists. It is noticeable that when they pass the window in the office of Capt. Arthur J. McCracken, detachment commander, their handling of the team becomes positively masterly.

            As part of the celebration of Liberty Loan Day various athletic events were held, paralleling the Penn relays on the same day. One of the feature events was the 100-yard dash, in which Private Johnny Flynn, his pompadour streaming in the wind, sprinted to victory, with Sergt. Guy N. Carroll snapping close at his heels in second place. Corpl. Leonard Jackson won the half mile race around the hospital.


Open School for Jewish Workers

            The Training School for Jewish Welfare Workers has been officially opened in the Jewish Welfare Building on 12th st, with a group of eight. These workers will be given a course of training here whence they will be sent to various camps all over the country to conduct the work of tee Jewish organization. Camp Upton was chosen some time ago for this because of the advantages it offers in the large number of Jewish men here and its proximity to NYC.


Signalmen in 321st F. S. B. Instructing These Tiny Aviators-- Not Allowed to Touch the Ground.

            Men are not the only birds being trained at Upton, although there is no aviation there. Upward of ninety pigeons are receiving instruction in modern warfare and have made such rapid advances that Capt. Bush of the 321st Field Signal Battalion thinks they’ll be ready for gas mask drill pretty soon. The pigeons are part of the 321st and occupy quarters near the battalion at Third Ave and 17th Street. Lieut. Gladstone has immediate supervision of the word which is intended to make them blue ribbon messengers. 

            Training a pigeon is somewhat different from coaching a doughboy. The D. B. would be locked in the padded cell of the hoosegow if he tried to drill with both feet off the ground for one item. But the pigeon is taught that the groups is bad, wicked, unsafe and to be scorned by all respectable carrier birds. When ever a pig tries to light on the earth he is called “wicked birdie” or something equally terrifying, and is shooed into the air by an energetic wig-wager. The signalmen have advanced in their pigeons' training wonderfully under Lieut. Gladstone's efficient direction and will have a battalion of the carriers ready to send overseas within a short time. The birds are taken further and further  away from camp for each successive trial, flying back to their headquarters. A wicker basket attached to the motorcycle is used to convey them.



            At the playhouse Sunday evening a number of Upton men on leave enjoyed the performance of “The Man Who Came Back,” which was presented by William A. Brady for the benefit of men in uniform. This powerful play opened in the Play House  two years ago in August and continued there two years solid, closing this season's tour recently in the Schubert Theater, Brooklyn. Henry Hull and the original cast played when the soldiers saw it. The NY War Camp Community Service and the Stage Women's War Relief sponsored it.

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